Hi. I'm Jordan. My life is a mixture of musicals, TV shows, puns, gay stuff, and yet straight women. I'm a 16 year-old from Kansas, so... there's virtually NOTHING to do in my town besides tumblr, so I'm on a bunch.(Read my About me in the top bar for more)
Pip Pip-a-Doodley Doo
just a friendly reminder that if you drink and drive you’re a fucking douchebag and everyone hates you
New Zealand’s biggest anti drink-driving campaign is literally
Australia uses a very similar one. The two countries really are like siblings.
yeah, we got the looks, and they got the sheep
(via laughcentre)
this is 911 state your emergency
YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD
911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN
YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS
911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER
MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.
Signal boost
YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ
TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.
yes 911 hello all these people are crazy
(Source: babylizard, via laughcentre)
A Dramatic Reading of Sandra Hill’s “Rough and Ready”
I’M BRINGING THIS BACK BECAUSE I REDISCOVERED IT EARLIER AND I ALMOST HAD AN ANEURYSM FROM LAUGHING SO HARD
IF YOU CAN ONLY HEAR ONE THING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE LISTEN TO THIS
(Source: sell-out-my-funeral, via ctrl-altaria)
do you ever go to reblog a post and add something funny and you type it out a few different ways and it doesnt work out so you shake your head and deeply sigh and close the post
This is my whole tumblr career.
you should have just closed the post when u made that comment tbh
(via kingofversailles)
